She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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