he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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