How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
