Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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