You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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