I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
