He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
