he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
