is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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