just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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