she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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