hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
