Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
