we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
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The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
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I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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