It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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