ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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