wanna go halves on a baby?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
