i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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