nutella sex= disaster
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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