And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize