If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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