Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
