i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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