my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need to wash the frat house off of me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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