yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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