Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
