What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
