this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
