Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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