I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
