i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
