I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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