dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
