I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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