hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My vagina just clenched in fear
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
