he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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