your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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