I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
