she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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