It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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