Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
