Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
