Tell her she can't have a vagina
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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