If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
