he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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