i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So much Jack, so little girl.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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