Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She told me I should be a condom model.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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