no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
