BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
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Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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