Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
