i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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