She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
