Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
