Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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