have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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