I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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