I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
