Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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