Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
tell me about the eggs
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