so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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