Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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